Get your monarchy here,
as seen on TV.
Not much use, a bit old fashioned,
but looks lurrverly on the mantelpiece.
And I'm not asking four hundred million quid,
not three hundred million...
This can be yours for only two hundred million pounds a year.
And, if you can't afford that, why not buy this lovely Happy Meal set of genuine plastic figurines?
Just costs the price of a burger.
But be careful, they are a bit of a choking hazard.
There you are madam, why not get two, one for him indoors?
Whatever you buy; buy now!
The next edition is going to be far less popular,
features a crazy bloke who's been in Mummy's shadow all his life.
Don't like plastic?
How about this genuwine cola glass?
Each one with a picture of a different family member on it.
Collect the set!
What do you mean officer? What's a brand exclusion zone?
Only registered sponsors allowed?
And they say it's a free country!
Here, have a little drink on me and I'll be on my way...